This little piece of metal

It's small enough to sink into the palm of my prosthetic-clad hand. Large enough to fill me with great satisfaction.

What you see here is a single medal from the Canadian Canoe Association sprint national championships, a competition held annually near the end of August.

For some paddlers, their collection of these little medallions boggles the mind. They count them, literally, in the dozens.

For me, this is the only one I have.

In 26 years of paddling—hell, in a lifetime of multiple sports—I’ve never held a top award in my hands outside of my own province. This week, that all changed, and I couldn’t be more pleased. I’ll even go ahead and say this: I am proud.

I won this at the ‘CCA’s’ on Lake Banook, Dartmouth, Nova Scotia.  Lake Banook may be insignificant as a geographic detail perhaps, but it’s significant to me in personal history. I first raced here 20 years ago, my very first time at a CCA sprint national championship, as a wide-eyed, vaguely out of control, in-it-for-the-fun 16 year-old.

I raced at a couple of successive CCAs after that, finding my way into various finals in singles and team races.

But I never found my way on to the podium.

In 1999, the sport changed for me—life changed—completely, when I had an industrial accident that left me without most of the fingers on my left hand.

Did you know it’s hard to hold on to a kayak paddle without fingers?

But, I was determined to try—you can never run out of try—and so, by 2001, following rehab, etc.  I was back at it with a pathetically ill-fitting, rudimentary prosthetic, racing against able-bodied paddlers with a sore hand and a technique that was forever changed. 

There was no para circuit back then. By 2004, I started to fade away from the sport for a while, frustrated by the change in my ability and feeling unsupported by the sport—I even had competitors tell me they didn’t think I should be able to participate, perceiving my use of a prosthetic as some sort of advantage.

School, marriage, work, kids… these things were paid more due than my love of being in boat. I hadn’t run out of ‘try’, but it was a fine time to shift my focus. Today I have a family, a house, a job, all of which I love and am blessed to have, and owe much to that break I took.

Eventually, I started to hear that there was in fact a para circuit, and that I would likely qualify, on assessment in a particular class. That was late in 2012. Little did I know that the para class had actually been gaining steam for a few years at that point. I made a slow re-entry to the sport. Inquiries before action. Tons of them. Looking into rules, and classifications, and equipment, and qualifications processes, and potential time commitments, and ultimately, discussions with family about what it could all mean.

Finally, though, the clincher: the para class was going to be debuting in Rio at the 2016 Paralympics. Time for action.

With my family’s blessing, I jumped back in. I was full of try again. I bought the appropriate Para class boat—the first flatwater sprint boat I have ever called my own, this in itself a dream fulfilled since I first sat in a boat as a kid in Kamloops. I started training again. Even went to my first Florida training camp (after 20 years of hearing people talk about the camps down there, what with all the dolphins and manatees and warm waters, it was my turn!).

Then, a little roadblock: The International Canoe Federation reconsidered the classifications for para kayak. My amputation no longer qualified to shoot for international competition…never mind that a dude can barely hold on to a paddle without a prosthetic. In the wake of the classifications change, numerous paddlers around the globe were declassified. Disappointing, to be sure, what with the Rio Paralympics a goal for many people at that point.

I wasn’t going to run out of try this time.

I jumped right into the V-1 class outrigger (or Va'a, if you prefer) sanctioned alongside the para kayaks as a para sprint discipline, though not to be included in Rio. It is totally new to me in the last year and a half, but I love it. I’m still classified internationally, and I’ve kept training at it. I basically reduced my sights to the CCAs for 2015.

But I didn’t get to nationals in 2015.Never mind why. It was work related and that’s how life goes.

Never run out of try.

I set sights on 2016, and here I am today.

I have a picture in my mind of me as a rake-thin 10 year-old, trying a sprint kayak for the first time.

I have this ACTUAL picture of me as a (still) rake thin 12 year-old (now with a mullet) and now totally into this sport.

I picture my progress as a kid through provincial championships, BC Games, Western Canadian Championships, and Canada Games and past CCAs, all full of their own successes and disappointments.

I have a picture of all those other sports I was doing at the same time, with paddling always seeming to come out at the top of list of interests.

And I picture the 23 year-old amputee ready to step back for a while.

And I see my adult life, mixing marriage and kids and work with this life-long love affair with the water, and the paddle and the boat.

Here's the real point of all this: Until today, paddling has never come with any particular accolades, but the love was always there. Paddling has always been one of my churches.

Today, I look down again at this little piece of metal pressed to my palm. And I think about the last 20 years since my first CCA,

Maybe love has been enough to motivate me.

Maybe, maybe I KNEW that I would one day have a moment like this and that kept me coming back. With or without fingers.

With or without years of delay. Always knowing I loved this sport and wanting to keep trying for… something.

I am glad, today, that I have a family who puts up with this little obsession, employers who are flexible with my vacation days, and above all, despite delays and times on the sidelines, that I made it to today… I never ran out of try.

How did I know I would get here?

Did I know?

I don’t know.

But I must have known.

Because I wrote this entire post last February.

Not knowing, but believing, a day like this might finally be coming.

I am excited for the future of para paddling in Canada. There's building to be done, but I'm going to work hard to make sure others might be able to find a passion for this sport like the one I have had for all this time.

Alright, that’s enough chatter. If you need me, I’ll be on the water.

#WEPADDLE

Summer so far...

If you're from Vancouver--or much of British Columbia, really--you probably feel as I do: that the summer break is technically half over, but the good weather has barely just kicked in. 

Best make the most of it! 

As I write this, Kate and the kids are in Quebec, where I just came from. I made a whirlwind August Long Weekend tour of visiting with friends in Ottawa, where we basically spent an entire day next to their pool... and we filmed this genre-defining 60 second piece of ART. 

OK, my friend Sean and I made this while the kids laughed and our wives rolled their eyes. It's still art. 

Then we rolled on to Quebec, where Kate's family has a compound of houses along scenic Lake Ann; it boils down to about 40 people of all ages, running around, swimming and eating. It's so amazing for our kids to connect with their cousins, forging new friendships and living free-range, doing things like catching frogs!

It feels like a small failure that it's taken this long into their childhood to get the kids doing something as simple as catching a frog, but oh well, it's done now! 

And best of all, the weather was nice and toasty, like summer should be. Feet up, drink in hand, warm breezes, and great connections with friends and family. It may have only been a weekend for me, but it was regenerative. 


That's it for now! Enjoy the videos. What are all y'all doing with your summers? Comment below or on the YouTube videos! 

Such 'Rappellant' behaviour

I did it.
I came, I saw. I rose to the occasion, then dropped down the side of that occasion. 

*AND Exhaaaale.*

Yes. That's me. Look up... look waaaayyy up. 

I have mentioned a few times in the past while how I don't like man-made heights (unless it's an amusement park ride, in which case, giddyup).

I have also mentioned how I decided that, as an employee of Make-A-Wish BC & Yukon, I would put my money where my mouth is this year, and fundraise to participate in the Rope For Hope urban rappelling challenge.

I raised my minimum, and on July 8th, I did "it."

I'll let the video speak for itself, but the fact is, amid moments requiring deep breaths, or realizing how intense I was actually feeling about the whole thing, I was doing it and it was actually pretty fun. The video is pretty "Vlog style", so some of the sound and editing is choppy, but it moves along nicely!

Almost back to sweet, sweet terra firma! 

Aaanyway, after a whole day of working the event for Make-A-Wish, it was my turn to tackle the challenge myself. By the time I'd watched so many others go through the safety briefings and tests, and seen the joys and fears on the faces of the other participants, I was actually very ready to go. turns out I have more mental fortitude than I thought :P

As I mention half way down the 400 ft. wall in this video, thanks to everyone who helped me do it, both mentally and financially. There were as many donations of advice on how to conquer this fear as there were contributions to my fundraising goal--and it all helped!

Once again, the video link. Enjoy. I know I did, as much to my own surprise as that was.

I am history's greatest champion!! 

Me Tarzan. You bad parent?

OK, enough of the judgy parent bullsh*t a la Gorilla mom at the Cincinnati Ohio Zoo this week.

Did she do wrong? Oh hells yeah, for sure. I mean, it’s a zoo. Keep an eye on your kids.

But is she always that bad? I very much doubt it. Epic… EPIC fail on her part this time around, no doubt…

Listen, we’ve all, as parents, done some dumb, inattentive sh*t, so let they who are without sin cast the first stone, mmmkay?

Hell, let’s turn it into a fun drinking game, shall we?

in the style of ‘never have I ever...’ (if you have, then do a shot. Your choice of liquor. I’ll choose Scotch. Keep it sophisticated).

Never have I ever…

…dropped my child when they were a baby

…found my learning-to-crawl toddler halfway up a set of stairs I didn’t know they were on

…caught my kid drinking from the dog water bowl

…slammed my child’s hand in a car door

…been separated from my child on a crowded train

…been in the sole care of my child when they severed part of their finger while “playing” with an exercise bike…

OKAAAY, that’s enough sharing. I, for sure, am pretty buzzed by now.

Fact is, we all suck as parents at times. 

Go on, say it. It’s liberating. 

Luckily for most of us, our sucky parenting moments have not taken place in very public places that lead to consequences so drastic that one of our endangered hominidae cousins had to be snipered in order to save our children.

I’ll set aside the jokes now. I believe that Gorilla mom probably loves her little one just the same as you do yours—I know that my love for my kids is unconditional—and I believe that she probably is a good parent 99.9 per cent of the time, same as you and me.

There’s nothing good about this story. Parent not paying attention. Kid doing something it shouldn’t. Zoo, giving a paying public a view of one of its wildest creatures so clear that it’s barriers are now negotiable by a four-year old. A precious creature of the earth, dead.

Nothing will change this situation now. Go back to hating something where your energy can be a force for good. Like the Trump campaign.

Until next time, watch your kids, and enjoy your scotch >hic<

Being vaguely vegan

We recently decided to give up eating meat at home. And milk, eggs and cheese, too.

“What, are you going to hire a personal chef now?” replied a friend, in a tone of near-disgust when we mentioned this to them.

“It’s not that hard to cook healthy vegan meals”, was our reply. And then we laid out some of the reasons we are trying this, environmental sustainability chiefly among our motivations.

More retorts from the friend about our misguided thinking.

You know what? Fine. 

We're doing this at home, just for us, and we’re not asking others to do it too. If you come over for a barbecue, you’re still likely to get meat as we have a freezer with a backlog of the stuff.

That knee-jerk reaction of almost-horror or distaste seems to be common. It’s almost comical, to watch people avert their eyes or grasp at something to say in response to our attempts at going vegan. Sometimes it comes out vaguely insulting (see above) and sometimes the responses feign support: “good for…you guys?”

Look, the reasons really are our own, and we’re not trying to convert you to some new meat-free religion…unless that’s what you want… JOIN US! Mwhahahahaaaaaa!

#JokingNotJoking...? 

We first turned our minds to the idea when we saw some facts about environmental impact of eating meat. Some of it we already knew, but we looked deeper. It’s remarkable. Fact is, animal agriculture is responsible for 18 per cent of greenhouse gas emissions, more than the combined exhaust from all transportation sources put together, globally (13 per cent) FYI, that’s a stat from the United Nations, not just your hemp clothes-wearing uncle with the acre of weed growing in his backyard.

Funnily enough, the reports on animal agriculture practically make energy production look like the new environmentalism (OK not quite true), from land destruction to water usage to off-gassing, etc. the list goes on. but the fact that we focus so much hate on the energy industry and so little on animal agriculture is strange. 

Enough of the stats . Suffice it to say, these are several of our motivations for trying this veganism thing.

So far, our experiment at home has been fun. It’s really switched up our cooking routine, which frankly was growing repetitive and stale. It’s made MY guts feel better for sure. I won’t go into the gory details, but let’s just say that dairy never agreed with me anyway.

The kids have entered into this thing a little more trepidatiously, and fair enough. This is being forced upon them a little bit.  But it's pretty funny to watch. There are regular stink-eye sessions at the dinner table a la Calvin and Hobbes.

‘What IS this?”

“Cheesy stuff!... made from cashews… and... nine other ingredients… try it, you’ll like it!”

Little does our son realize it, but his gravy was recently made from his number one food nemesis: The hated mushroom. And he loved it. Sucker.

On the whole, things are going well. We’ll continue on with a pilot phase for a while, but so far, all signs point to being satisfied, full, healthy, etc. No, I am not wasting away from calcium deficiency. Yes, I get enough iron. Protein? If anything, I need less.

But we really don’t want you to worry. If you’re coming over for a BBQ, we’ll still have something for the grill. If you’re at a restaurant with us, we aren’t going to be those obnoxious people picking apart the menu and complaining that there’s nothing for a vegan to eat. In fact, It’s likely I’ll still eat a proper burger, and the kids will have their pepperoni pizza and mac ‘n’ cheese.

In the end, we will live our lives, you can live yours, and I hope we can still be friends that can look each other in the eye.