November 9, 2011

'Bees in my Bonnet' or 'Occupy Christmas'

I'll keep this short and sweet--and yes, I look fabulous in a Bonnet, for the record...

First, let’s talk Christmas. News flash: it’s not here yet. Universe, please stop sending me flyers. Give me a few more minutes to get past Hallowe’en, and for dang sure give me a moment to pause and reflect and give thanks on Remembrance Day before Santa starts putting his nose all up in my bizness.

Charities, stop sending me address labels, calendars, Christmas cards, envelope seal stickers and the like. You’re still welcome to send me pictures of sick and malnourished children with puppy dog eyes and pictures of sick and malnourished puppies with sad infant eyes, but please, stop wasting your money on goodies and gimmies. Yes, I have donated to a number of you. No, I didn’t expect any percentage of my donation would come back to me in the form of a gift bag and ballpoint pen. Please give my money to those kids with puppy dog eyes. I’ll buy a calendar from you if I feel like it.

Next, let’s talk Occupy. If you don’t know what that is, then I can only presume you live in a cave on Mars under a rock with your fingers in your ears and your eyes squeezed shut. I support the right to demonstrate, to exercise free speech and make your opinions known. What I don’t appreciate, however, is talking a lunch hour walk through my local Occupy site and being given the third degree on “what corporation do I work for?” and “what am I doing here?” questions from belligerent protesters who seem to think that they now own the city-owned, public-use land on which they are encamped. Yes, that happened yesterday. Colour me unimpressed. You want people to take you seriously? Stop talking to me like that and, absolutely and unequivocally, stop biting police. Stick to your key messages, work with authorities to make your valid right to protest go smoothly, and “stick it to the man” for as long as you like. I won’t get into the irony about the way-more-than-half-a-million-dollars that has been spent on the local protest, at the expense of the 99 per cent whom you are trying to represent. As a last comment on this, I hope cooler heads prevail if a Court injunction ordering your removal gets approved and another riot doesn’t get sparked.

Did I mention back in June how stupid I thought the Stanley Cup riot was? Bah.

Alright, that’s enough griping for now! I’ll be cheery once the Christmas spirit sets in. Not to worry—just have to get past November 11th first, Lest We Forget.
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